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Because they are the Lions.
Only the Detroit Lions could blow a three-touchdown second-half lead, a colossal meltdown so dire it felt like Matt Patricia was certain to be fired, only to salvage it with a 59-yard field goal from Matt Prater to pull out a dramatic last-second victory over Washington, 30-27.
Because they are the Lions.
Only the Lions could win a game and a large slice of the fan base was so disappointed you could hear them screaming: “Ah crap, I wanted Patricia fired.”
And the other half went: “Don’t be so negative. A win is a win, even against a team with no name.”
Because they are the Lions.
So what does it mean?
[ Lions’ grades: Offense shines, but coaching helped Washington come back ]
On the NFL’s great totem pole of sucky-ness, the Lions are a notch above this generic, no-name-brand football team. Not by much. But a little.
Woo-hoo! The Lions finally won a game in Ford Field for the first time in over a year.
Break out the champagne, folks.
“We’re just happy to get the win here today,” Patricia said. “Really great job by our team today.”
Hmm. “Great” is a relative term, I guess.
“The players executed when they had to at the end and we know we have another tough opponent this week,” Patricia continued. “We’ll enjoy this one for just a little bit and then we have to get back to work.”
If that sounds like a guy who finally won his 13th game — in his third season — I suppose we can let him bask in the glow.
But in the big picture, this is the type of win that keeps the Lions stuck in mediocrity. They are 4-5 now. They aren’t horrible — obviously not as bad as Washington — but they aren’t legitimate playoff contenders, either.
If they get a few more wins down the stretch, owner Sheila Ford Hamp could make an unsound (if not foolish) decision and keep this regime together, even though this team is playing horrible defense and needed an improbable 16-second drive from Matthew Stafford to beat a bad team.
“I’m just proud of our guys for fighting,” Stafford said. “A win is a win. It’s tough to win in this league. I’m never gonna apologize for one. Can we play better? Yeah, but we did a nice job not turning the ball over. Defense got some stops.”
[ Shawn Windsor: Prater’s bomb keeps Patricia’s tenure alive another day ]
Swift stands out
Let’s give the Lions their due.
In a monumental battle of mediocrity, the Lions finally found a team that makes more mistakes than they do.
“We got close enough for, you know, the most clutch kicker in football to come out there and do this thing,” Stafford said. “So I was extremely happy for Matt Prater and that operation to get it up and through the up rights. I mean, a 59-yarder to win it? That’s what that guy loves to do and what we love having him for he’s a he’s a special guy in those moments.”
There were some positives.
Rookie running back D’Andre Swift looked fantastic, especially late in the game, when he seemed to put this team on his back. He rushed 16 times for 81 yards and caught five passes for 68 yards.
But why did they wait so long to feature him so prominently, much less give him a start?
“I thought we were able to get Swift in some space and allow him to run,” Patricia said. “I thought he ran really hard. I thought that was a great thing for us to see, just his physicality of what he was doing, breaking some tackles and just very smart and aware of some of the situations that we had.”
And give Stafford credit for creating another winning fourth-quarter drive.
Stafford played this game in a curious position: It looked like he was held together with athletic tape. He injured his thumb on his throwing hand in the first quarter. A trainer taped the thumb, and there was another wrap around his left wrist and a patch on his forearm.
“I gotta go get it looked at,” Stafford said. “It was on a play where I got sacked with a personal foul. So the next time I gripped the ball to throw it, it didn’t feel so hot.”
But the most impressive part of this win was the performance of the Lions’ offensive line.
The Lions faced a tremendous challenge trying to stop Washington’s defensive line, which is loaded with talented, first-round draft picks.
Stafford was sacked just once — although another one was wiped away by penalty.
“They did an outstanding job,” Stafford said of the line. “That’s as good a front, talent wise, that we are going to play in the NFL.”
[ Emergency order means Lions won’t have fans on Thanksgiving ]
Lions’ defense makes all QBs better
So give the Lions credit for building that 24-3 lead.
But it is time to address the bigger issue: The Lions defense crumbled like a house built on false promises and unmet expectations. Quarterback Alex Smith, who was starting his first game since a horrendous leg injury in 2018, was brilliant, throwing for 390 yards.
Why: Because he was facing the Lions’ defense.
But Washington lost this game because it looked like the Lions. The “Football Team” blew scoring opportunities, missed tackles and had some idiotic penalties.
Yes, they looked like the Lions.
And on the Lions’ game-winning drive, Washington made a bone-headed mistake, roughing Stafford and putting the Lions in position for Prater’s kick.
So celebrate if you want.
But this game sums up why the Lions are the Lions.
They beat a team with no name.
All game long, I kept hearing an old song: “I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name. It felt good to be out of the rain.”
Yes, the Lions are out of the rain for now — because of a 59-yard kick — and Patricia still has his job.
Because they are the Lions.
Contact Jeff Seidel: jseidel@freepress.com. Follow him on Twitter @seideljeff. To read his recent columns, go to freep.com/sports/jeff-seidel.