I thought it was a joke.
You know, just another lighthearted moment from Dan Campbell, like putting on a racing helmet or talking about biting kneecaps.
“I’m going to start with this,” the Detroit Lions coach said Tuesday afternoon, “we are going to let Don Muhlbach go.”
I wasn’t at practice, so I learned about this like a lot of you through social media. I figured it was a bad joke, a poor attempt at morbid humor.
The Lions announced they were cutting their long snapper after 17 seasons and 260 games, tied for 37th place in NFL history … ON HIS 40TH BIRTHDAY!
Surprise! Suddenly, Muhlbach interrupts Campbell’s daily news conference as he’s carried in on the rocking chair that teammates had just given him. Ha! Good one, coach!
I kept waiting and hitting the refresh button on Twitter. Waiting for a text from my colleague Dave Birkett telling me to keep quiet and play along. Nothing.
This was really happening.
Yes, folks. The Lions really are this stupid. They really cut one of the franchise’s most honorable and respected players … ON HIS 40th BIRTHDAY!
So the joke was on all of us. But it was the Lions who looked like laughingstocks.
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I know it’s harsh to call a team stupid, but I mean it — I’m genuinely angry. And not because Muhlbach and I were best friends, or it’s somehow personal to me. I’m angry because I’m sick and tired of the Lions doing boneheaded things that the rest of the NFL and the sports world laughs at. They laugh at the Lions and the pity the people in Detroit who have to endure it all.
Aren’t you tired of it? Good ol’ Detroit, always there to serve as a punching bag or a late-night punchline.
Before I go further, let me be clear: The Lions had every right to cut Muhlbach. But they could have cut him on any one of 364 other days.
Nope. Not the Lions. They waited until … HIS 40th BIRTHDAY!
At best, this decision makes the Lions seem tone-deaf. At worst, it makes them seem heartless. Just imagine Muhlbach cleaning out his locker and saying his goodbyes … ON HIS 40TH BIRTHDAY!
This is the kind of move that gets talked about in NFL locker rooms and should give free agents pause about signing with the Lions.
I don’t think the Lions are actually tone-deaf or heartless. Players genuinely seem to like Campbell, who looked like he almost choked up when I watched the video of his news conference. General manager Brad Holmes also doesn’t seem clueless to me, though he’s showing some obstinacy — or “conviction” if you’ve bought into the Honolulu Blue Revival Plan — if you couple this move with his refusal to draft a receiver until the fourth round.
I will give the Lions a little credit here on two points. First, they made the Muhlbach decision, stuck with it, owned it, addressed it before it leaked and made it a one-day story, as tough as it was for Campbell to deliver the bad news.
Second, they clearly believed Muhlbach had lost a step somewhere and refused to let sentimentality play a role in their decision. A team that’s starting a lengthy rebuild can’t let emotions stall that process.
But this was still a mistake, simply because of the timing. It wasn’t a money issue, because he was on a one-year, minimum-salary-benefit deal. It wasn’t a roster issue, because it’s not like the team had to cut him in order to sign the Tom Brady of long snappers. (That title probably belongs to Muhlbach anyway.)
The timing just made no sense.
On a personal note, I will miss Muhlbach. I’ve always had a soft spot for specialists and I liked making him squirm by threatening to ask him for an interview. He hated talking about himself publicly more than anything. We both have August birthdays, so we would exchange birthday wishes after a training camp practice or a preseason game.
Of course, all roads come to an end. I knew Muhlbach wouldn’t play forever. But I couldn’t imagine the Lions would handle his departure so poorly, even if they’d already proved they could fumble much higher-profile exits, such as those of Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson.
I’m sure the Lions will induct Muhlbach into their “Ring of Honor” someday. I’d like to imagine that moment with the standing ovation and cheers and smiles that will greet him at Ford Field. Because for now, that day seems far off and the only thing that’s remotely funny about Muhlbach’s departure is how laughably stupid the Lions were in the way they handled it.
Contact Carlos Monarrez at cmonarrez@freepress.com and follow him on Twitter @cmonarrez.